This season of The Hills came full circle last night. Audrina and Lauren’s relationship was on the fritz and Lo stepped back in as her shoulder to cry on. Audrina and Justin-Bobby were back to bickering. Whitney was M.I.A. and Spencer furthered the divide between Heidi and her family and she took it like a doormat. It was like the premiere, only juicier and Holly had better hair.
The Rumor Mill: Audrina heard from some guy named Dino (surely, a reliable source!) that Lauren and Justin-Bobby had hooked up. Lauren had denied it immediately, but Aud wasn’t sure who to believe and Justin-Bobby hadn’t returned her calls or texts with confirmation or denial. “Justin can’t even give me the respect to call me and tell this never happened,” she whined. Her work friend fanned the fire with her knack for stating the obvious. “You’ve got to get to the bottom of this.” One got the feeling that she tried to over a series of unseen (due to their graphic nature) phone calls. The audience was privy to one particularly desperate one in which Aud said to his voicemail: “ With you not calling, it is kinda freaking me out [and] makes me sick to my stomach.”
Meanwhile back at the ranch (and by ranch we mean multi-million dollar Hollywood mansion), LC bitched about the accusation to Lo. “Audrina is crazy. She asked me and I started laughing. She thinks I hooked up with him like totally serious. It is insulting on so many different levels. She’s calling me a bad friend. She’s calling me a shady person. She called me a slut. And she’s saying that I would hook up with him. Yes, Audrina, I did. I couldn’t resist his charm, his manners, his impeccable hygiene. I was under the Justin-Bobby spell.” Lo was shocked and basically said what anyone who has ever witnessed an interaction between the pompadour and the princess was thinking. “That’s laughable. You would never do that. He would never do that.” Lauren was so angry that she was willing to lose another entourage member. “This isn’t a little thing. I don’t want a friend that’s going to treat me that way. Unless she apologizes to me, I’m done.”
Aud showed up at LC’s pad to talk, but instead was met with a bunch of awkward silence, brushing of hair off faces and sarcastic head nods. “You need to converse with me,” Aud pleaded. Lauren fired back, “Until you treat me like a friend, I’m not going to talk to you like one.” LC called her insane, yet she persisted in asking her again if the gossip was true. LC was flabbergasted. “You can believe whatever you want but please stop talking sh– on me to other people. It’s really screwed up.” Talk No. 1 ended there with Aud storming out pouting.
Gossip Girls: The She-Pratt wasn’t about to miss an opportunity to meddle so she met up with LC for coffee and immediately asked for her side of the rumor story and ratted out Aud for already texting her about it. That set LC off. “I was so mad at her that after knowing me for years, she would so quickly believe that.” Stephanie tried to reason. “Justin has hooked up with her friends.” LC reiterated her point, “But me? What did I do to not be trusted? We were getting along so well, but I don’t think this is something we can come back from.”
Aud turned to her sister Casey in her time of need, explaining what went wrong at the first meeting with LC (“I was shaking mad. The look she had on her face was like I was hurting her. I couldn’t even stand there.”) and how she hoped the second would go better now that she was ready to “resolve things.” Viewers prepared for a fight the minute she told Casey that she didn’t think there was anything to apologize for, knowing that LC was expecting it.
Public Outcries: JB eventually agreed to meet Aud at Cobras & Matadors and he too denied it. “Me and Lauren? What is there to talk about,” he said incredulously. “You think after all this that I would run and hook up with Lauren? You really do?” Her doormat side responded, “There are little things that kept popping into my mind and when Dino was so sincere.” He started to get annoyed at her insecurity. “I told you it didn’t happen. If you don’t believe me, I don’t know what else to tell you.” Aud figured she’d probably lost her friendship with LC and that she wasn’t sure where this relationship stood either. The doubt in her voice sent him over the edge. “This is so stupid. You put something in your head and believe it when it is really fictitious. Something’s not right there.” He bolted in a cloud of leather and hair pomade.
Her second attempt to clear the air with LC didn’t go well either. They agreed to meet at Winston’s. (Again, who has these types of convos in a bar full of people?) Lo, also one to never miss a chance to stir the pot, riled LC up before Aud arrived. “She’s gone around town running her mouth for the past week.”
To make the situation weirder, they didn’t even chat solo. Lo was staring and listening and probably dreaming of poking out Aud’s eyes in order to defend the object of her forbidden affection. LC launched with, “I am so insulted and hurt at the same time. You are supposed to believe me because I’m your friend and I have never been anything but to you. Tell me what I’ve done to you to make you think I’m capable of doing this?” Aud asked if she wanted her to recite a list but when it came down to it, she could only think of one thing, which was that they had been flirty before. (In what alternate universe did this happen?) LC wasn’t buying the crap she was selling either. “Flirty? I would rather kill myself than hook up with him. He is disgusting. Justin disgusts me.”
Apparently the horror of that thought on LC’s face wasn’t enough to convince her the rumor was just that because she asked her a few more times if she’d fooled around with her boyfriend and accused her of recreating the Heidi situation with her. LC’s eyes started to well up. “No, I’m not because you are way worse than Heidi.” Aud shook her head and walked away from the table as LC’s mascara tears dropped like rain. Never fear as Lo offered her shoulder to cry on.
Rows of Holly Holly showed up at Speidi’s apartment looking for her sister and Spencer greeted her unkindly, “Well if it isn’t little Miss Traitor.” He refused to tell her where Heidi was and claimed that she wouldn’t want to see her anyway. When she asked if he could tell her that she’d stopped by, he replied, “I’ll be like, ‘Hey that girl that moved in with LC came by but we didn’t have anything in our fridge for her so she left.’” When she asked how he knew where she was staying, he ratted out his “unloyal sister.” Holly defended Stephanie and herself. “I think that [we’ve] both had Heidi’s best interest at heart. I think you are the only person who doesn’t. The only person you care about is yourself.”
Holly went to find Heidi at Bolthouse and was surprised to find her in a cubicle instead of her office. Heidi explained, “It’s a long story I don’t want to go into it.” Holly wanted to talk so Heidi took them to a conference room. Heidi said, “I feel like I’ve done nothing but be the best sister I can to you and then I hear from Stephanie that you’re living with Lauren. Do you know how badly that hurts me? Lauren was my best friend who I have gone through so much with and obviously I miss her.” Holly said she had felt like there was no alternative, but that the real issue she wanted to discuss was Spencer. “If somebody that loves you so much, then they want every part of your life to be great. He’s [done] nothing but push everybody away.” It became apparent that he hadn’t told Heidi that Holly had stopped by the house either.
Heidi arrived home from work to find Spencer behind the kitchen island (the evil perch from which he hatches all of his diabolical plans). He laughed at her when she complained she had been relegated to a cube. She also tried to bait him into telling her if he’d seen or run into anyone of interest that day and he didn’t come clean so she walked off, incredulous. –Carrie Bell
Tell Us: Do you think Audrina was justified in questioning Lauren and Justin-Bobby? Do you think there could be any truth to the rumor?
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