Jason Mesnick, 32, learned he could love again last season on The Bachelorette. Unfortunately, the object of his affection, Deanna Pappas, let him make an ass of himself on bended knee before choosing the other dude bro (whom she later told to take his snowboard and shove it).
Fortunately, the 32-year-old single dad from Seattle is now the one calling the shots (and handing out the roses). The first night of his search for true love gave hope that this season could be the most dramatic yet (and we’re saying this with a completely straight face) as he met 25 amazing women and whittled them down to a more manageable 15 before choosing his one true reality love.
Hey Ladies: And so began the traditional meet-the-contestants montage. One brought 32 pairs of shoes. Another should practice the same control on her eye makeup as she does her golf swing. A Tooth Nazi masquerading as a dental hygienist actually flossed on national TV. There was a pageant queen, a poor man’s Eva Mendes. Four single moms, a token pro cheerleader and a couple of Canadians. And then there was Renee, who is quite possibly the best… bachelorette … ever with her unhealthy attachment to her pug and her vision boards. (Think positive energy ransom notes with words like orgasmic and photos of diamond rings.)
Meat and Greets: The limos rolled up and out came the hordes of strapless dress-tugging suitor-ettes hungry for their double hugs. Noteworthy first impressions: 1) Birthday girl Lauren demanded Jason guess how many candles her cake would need. (He dodged a bullet by going with one too few.) 2) Sloucher Sharon forced him to salsa and stared like she wanted to eat him. 3) Naomi told him he looked “so much better in person.” (Backhanded compliment anyone?) 4) Brown-noser Nicole chose an orange dress because it’s his kid Ty’s favorite color. 5) The Tooth Nazi wore gross fake teeth and over-laughed at her own prank. 6) Treasure. Nuff said.
The girls continued the woo inside the mansion. Naomi toasted Deanna for not taking Jason off the market before declaring that she wanted him “all over her body.” The Tooth Nazi turned out to be obsessed with more than hygiene. She knew J’s birthday and that Jason’s brother Larry was dating a Shannon and admitted to trolling his MySpace page. (Watch the clip.) Dom lost points by chitchatting about toe implants. Salsa Sharon revealed she’d resigned from her job to participate. Kari recited an original poem.
Before long, talk moved to wieners and how they can tell you a lot about a guy. Jillian tested her processed pork theory on the Bach, who passed by choosing mustard. Raquel asked Jason to dance, but Molly cut in and there were the sparks of the first girl fight when she whisked him away. There’s always one girl who gets too drunk and this season it was Jackie the divorcee.
Early Bloomers: Birthday girl thought she was getting the first impression rose when Jason left to find her a candle to blow out. The best part was watching her backtrack and eat her boastful words in the confession that followed. Turns out the beauty queen, with her babysitting experience,“stunning” looks and easy conversation earned her the first flower.
The producers also introduced a new form of dating show cruelty — the ballot box. Each woman was asked to write down a name of someone to send home. Brilliant move as the claws instantly came out. Even more brilliant was the fact that Chris Harrison read aloud the top three vote getters (Jackie, Erica and Megan) and then gave No. 1 Megan a rose for her humiliation just before asking her to move in with her nominators. Megan called them a-holes, but secretly cried later about them hating her. (For the record, Jason planned to give her a rose all along.)
The Final 15: Jason said he put his single dad status behind him for the evening and looked for girls with whom he had a connection. Apparently, he connected to crazy as he gave roses to the pop quiz-giving birthday girl, the poet, admitted obsessed b—- slapper Naomi, and stalker Tooth Nazi. Rounding out the finalist list were Natalie and Lisa (completely unmemorable), the Dallas cowgirl, the golfing (dance) cutter, the processed pork philosopher, salsa sloucher Sharon, and Erica (who we’re guessing will provide the most fireworks among the ladies).
Not so surprising, Renee and her vision boards couldn’t see she wasn’t going to make the cut. Wedding fetishist/drunk Jackie, Stacia and her great hair and hammer-toe healer Dom also got the boot. –Carrie Bell
Tell Us: Do you think Jason kept the right girls? Who would you have like to see stay/go? Did you like the addition of the ballot box rose?
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