In honor of Kristin Cavallari and the “bitch is back”-themed season MTV has planned for The Hills, we’re presenting a list of the premiere episode’s cattiest moments. Enjoy (with a grain of salt)!
Gossip Girls: Lo, Stephanie and Audrina rehashed KC’s greatest snits (like slapping LC at a club), called her names (like man-eater) and examined her bad qualities at Tart. To be fair, Aud said she’d give the new girl “the benefit of the doubt.” Meanwhile, Speidi seemed giddy at the prospect of a little pot-stirring.
Bad Boyfriend? Brody was insensitive to his girlfriend Jayde’s desire to sartorially knock it out of the park when attending a party with his ex. He was also less than forthcoming when she inquired about why they broke up. “We were young. We’ve moved on. You gotta look out for her, but she’s cool,” said the guy with a new subtitle (he’s now “Kristin’s ex” rather than “Lauren’s friend”).
First Impressions: Justin-Bobby didn’t acknowledge Aud when he arrived at Speidi’s party, but paid attention to KC. Steph immediately confronted him for disrespecting Aud and told her to “stay away from guys Audrina dated.” KC told her what everyone has wanted to say for seasons: “Pipe down. Let your friends talk for themselves. Quit getting in everyone’s business.” Aud got involved and it almost came to blows. KC threw out a few more threats: “It’s on, bitch. You don’t want to be on my bad side.”
You’ve Been Warned: “Kristin is not good news. She’s going to stab us all in the back,” Steph warned. “Every girlfriend in L.A. needs to worry about her boyfriend. How can one person turn all of our lives upside down?” Aud answered, “She can’t if you don’t give her the power to.” Of course this gem came after Aud let KC’s RSVP to Frankie’s birthday keep her from attending.
Flirt Fest: At Frankie’s party, KC took the seat across from JB and inquired about his status. “Beyond Audrina, I’ve been single for like four years,” he said. “We were never fully together.” JB made eyes at her all night and offered to give her a ride on his bike. He walked away when she seemed disinterested, but she followed and turned the flirting up a notch. Later, Steph told Aud that they’d probably gone home together and her eyes welled up. So much for being over him.
Sealing the Deal: KC met JB at STK for a date and started the conversation by assuring him that Aud is still in love with him because he is the one guy she could never fully get. JB disregarded the warning, reiterating that they were never exclusive. Then, she announced that she has the best bed and he suggested they break it in.
Marital Bliss: Speaking of romance, our happy newlyweds were looking for a new place and Heidi wanted a “classic house with a picket fence” and room for babies. Spencer, in a lame cowboy hat, bashed the place she loved and took her to a modern, hillside “porno pad” that he’d already put down a deposit on without telling her. “Why wouldn’t you talk to me about it? This is our life,” she said. “We got married to decide things together.” If she honestly thinks making it official would change this leopard’s spots, she’s a bigger moron than previously thought. –Carrie Bell
Tell us: What did you think of the new episode of The Hills? Team Kristin or Team Audrina? Did you miss Lauren? Or is Kristin more fun?
Sthanlee B. Mirador/Shooting Star; Landov
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