The pants nearly came off during part two of The Real Housewives of Atlanta’s reunion (Dwight has a what implant?!) but disappointingly, the gloves stayed on. We learned that Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are obsessed with the show. That NeNe is mulling scripts and chatting up Gayle King. That Kim has no memory of making out with Michael Lohan’s business associate. And perhaps most shockingly, that her pink prairie dress was by Dolce & Gabbana. But as Dwight pointed out, the Georgia peaches were frustratingly low-key when it came to rehashing old battles. For the last time this season, let’s separate the real moments from the “unbeweaveable.”
WHAT WAS UNBEWEAVEABLE
• Kim claimed to now laugh about Sheree just wanting to “shift her wig a little bit.” Then she demanded to “move it along” every time the conversation got uncomfortable.
• Through gritted teeth, NeNe accepted Kim’s invitation to sing backup during some future performance of “Tardy for the Party.”
• Kandi — once a fan, now a frenemy — called NeNe “uppity,” then agreed they could be close one day.
WHO GOT REAL
• As Kim gyrated and yelped alongside a track of her dancehall hit, “Tardy for the Party,” her fellow Housewives’ faces revealed all the bile they’d been stifling. Save for the sweetly enraptured Andy Cohen, there were enough daggers shooting out of eyeballs to massacre an army of burly party planners.
• The Housewives banded together to take Dwight down a peg after he endlessly critiqued of their looks. “Where’s your clothing line?” Lisa shot back.
• The fun factor was raised every time someone uttered a catchphrase. But “blonk” and “Who gonna check me, boo?” will only get you so far. Ashton deserved better.
• Finally, Kandi performed a tribute to her late fiancé AJ, singing her single “Fly Above” — and NeNe was actually feeling it! –Suzanne Zuckerman
Tell us: Who is your favorite Housewife? Whose product would you buy, Kandi’s album, a wig from Kim, a ticket to a NeNe Leakes movie, Sheree’s fitness DVD or an outfit by Closet Freak?
Wilford Harewood/Bravo
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